Weekly Theme: The Messy Middle
This week’s theme: We find ourselves in what Dr. Brené Brown calls the “Messy Middle.” Things may seem boring or not go as planned, but that doesn’t mean anything is going wrong. Many of my clients have been reflecting on changes in their lives and are approaching these changes with a new perspective.
We've all experienced growing pains, some of which we might still be enduring. That's completely normal—even if it doesn't always feel that way! Outgrowing something that no longer works is perfectly acceptable. Yes, the old ways are comfortable or at least familiar, but are they still effective? What if you tried something new?
Think back to when you were younger and went through a growth spurt. Whether physically or emotionally, it was often painful and awkward. Clothes may not have fit right, and peers may have looked at you differently. Changes occurred beyond your control, and you had to learn to adapt. For most of us, going back to the pre-growth stage simply wasn’t an option. This is the essence of the “Messy Middle.”
During this stage, we can explore questions, test hypotheses, and adjust based on what we discover. The goal isn’t to rush into replacing old coping mechanisms but rather to learn to tolerate discomfort safely. Initially, new coping strategies might feel awkward, but with time, patience, and practice, you can become comfortable with them. It all begins by being open to the idea that something new may not necessarily be bad.
For songs to listen to through the Messy Middle, check out my “Growing Pains” Playlist on Spotify