Beyond "Why?" — The Clarity of "What"

Are you spending more time in the "what?" or the "why?"

The "why" is often a space filled with judgment and blame. Questions arising from this space might include, "Why did you do that?" or "Why would you think that’s a good idea?" These kinds of inquiries can reveal our core beliefs and insecurities.

In contrast, the "what" is a space of curiosity. While you may not necessarily agree with a situation, this perspective provides valuable information. It encourages us to ask questions that can be answered, such as "What happened?" "What am I feeling?" or "What went well?" These questions can inspire change and offer deeper insights into the situation.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you want to shift out of the "why" space:

• What happened?

• What am I feeling?

• Are there any judgments coming up?

• What’s going on in my mind?

• Do I want to take any action about it?

• What can I learn from this?

What’s the point of asking these questions if I don’t know why I’m reacting this way?

Think of these questions as guideposts along a hiking trail. They are relatively easy to spot and can help you stay on the path you want to take. There might be times when you overlook a guidepost or choose a slightly different route — that's okay! Why you missed a guidepost or took a different path isn't usually significant in the long run. These guideposts serve as a way to reorient yourself and check in on your progress. The goal is to continue hiking the trail and keep moving forward.